Sunday Funday with Dirty BJ was awesome! So much fun. Traveling the backroads in my Jeep, seeing his favorite places, having a beer. Seeing beautiful country. Telling me all about the areas. He knows EVERY bar within 100 miles of Austin. Maybe 200. I met so many people, many of them I’m still friends or acquaintances with. He was introducing me to everyone. Except his family.
He was divorced and that relationship, as well as some others, put a huge strain on his family. I totally understood that. I wasn’t ready to meet his family. I wasn’t sure if I was ready for him to meet mine yet, but they would soon be coming to town and he was always at my house. He never went to his place…
“What do you want to do for your birthday?” he asked. I LOVE vacationing for my birthday. So, he took me to Port Aransas! He was going to introduce me to more friends, show me his favorite places, hang on the beach… It was a great time. Honestly, it was one of the best birthdays I had in years.
He started running low on cash and hadn’t made it to his bank to cash his check for his ‘leisure money’ for the trip, so I agreed to let him use my Amex. “I’ll pay you back when I cash my check.” Fair enough… I had some anxiety about it, but I had learned to use that Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) to calm my anxiety. He had given me no reason not to trust him. He helped with projects around my house. Fixed things. Hell, I didn’t expect him to pay for everything, because honestly the trip was my idea. So, if he was a little short, it wasn’t going to be a big deal. I was getting my beach vacation. On the way home, the day of my birthday, he even took me to the Snake Farm! Now, if you haven’t heard “Snake Farm” by Ray Wylie Hubbard, you should totally give it a listen. I had been wanting to go for ages. It was so cool!
He looked forward to meeting my family. He knew I was apprehensive. My family adored my ex-husband, Fat F*ck. My nephew, who is autistic, thought he was the greatest. It took months to get him to understand that Fat F*ck was a bad person and wouldn’t be coming around anymore. I was worried about this happening again, but this sweet guy wanted my birthday party to be great and offered to cook the brisket for the pool party and help make it a stressless success. So, “the boyfriend” was introduced.
My parents couldn’t make it, because they had just been there, and were returning a month later, so he met everyone else. Brother, aunts, cousins, friends. He was introduced. Everyone liked him. He was quiet. That was a huge group to meet all at once. He was a little shy. Preferred small intimate conversations to large groups. So, he and my brother got to know one another and bonded over bourbon. Who doesn’t like a good bourbon? Talked about Texas, history, military, and God knows what else. They even started planning trips that they wanted to do. My brother is always on the lookout for little hole-in-the-wall diners and bars with the best hamburger. Oh, and James knew where the best were. I was having a motorcycle shipped that I had gotten in the divorce that had just been sitting in my attorney’s garage. I was going to let him ride it to go on some day trips with my brother and take me on rides as well!
The party ended, eventually everyone left, my second cousin backed into a stone wall on my property… Something has to get broken or it’s not a good party! LOL
“Oh we like him!”
Things continued to be great! I was always worried about him working in the Texas heat, though. Long days and nights in unbearable heat to be working. HVAC installs in attics are brutal. I was always picking him up cases of water and gatorade because I was worried about the risk of heatstroke. I had fallen in love with him and wanted to take care of him. He was exhausted and still running the kitchen at the bar. Eventually, he hired some help, so that he didn’t have to be there every night. It was just too much. His work ethic was so strong that he was making himself sick. He was starting to slow down. I saw the physical exhaustion. He didn’t want to let anyone down or stop following his dream.
He was still driving my Jeep every day to work and while it was beginning to get really annoying, I was okay with helping him out. You do what you can to make the people you love happy, and that was something I could do for him.
Dirty BJ - My life with an Austin Texas “Dirty John” 